Wisconsin Vampire by Scott Burtness
Reviewed by Robyn
4.5 Stars.
The Book
Or as I found myself thinking about it “So, you’re a Vampire. Now what?” Herb isn’t anyone special, used to living in the shadow of his best friend Dallas he is the lesser known of the close knit three-man friendship circle. Dallas is the typical stud of the town, swinging between Herbs bully and saviour. Even Stanley, a stuttering ball of useless advise, is better known than him, and that’s only because of one random event that to this day no one truly understands but that everyone speculated about. And then he gets bitten by a skeeter (mosquito) who’d gate crashed on a vampires feeding frenzy. Suddenly he’s stronger, faster, even better looking.
The story follows Herb as he learns to live as an entirely new, improved version of his former self. Soon however it becomes evident that while it’s probably the coolest thing ever, there are certain challenges he may never fully over come.
What I liked 1. Herb’s internal dialogue. While reading I imagined that his thoughts would be the exact kind I’d have if I were ever to be bitten by a vampiric skeeter. 2. The realism of life as a vampire. I love that Herb didn’t just glide into his new life, Burtness did an incredible job at creating a realistic character with a near constant stream of flaws which he works desperately to fix. This is not a glamorous vampire tale. 3. The End…? Firstly because I hope this means another book will be gracing my Kindle screen soon. Secondly because the actual ending of the story was so far from what I’d expected, it felt as though it took on an entirely different, darker, tone.
What I didn’t like
1. Not so much a dislike, but more of a wish for more of the Master. My interest was piqued with him, I would have loved a bit more of his dry disdain for Herb being present in the book – BUT for the little time he’s there, I loved it. 2. I stayed up all night reading it. So now I’m tired. I don’t like that I didn’t get much sleep.
Final thoughts I love a book that I cannot put down. Or lock the screen on and forget about. To the best of my recollection I’ve never read a book of this kind, where a usually dark subject such as vampirism suddenly becomes something worth of a movie along the lines of Shaun of the Dead. It’s a welcome genre shift in a market that I feel has gotten just a little saturated with seriousness and glitter.
This is a horromedy (horror/comedy). Burtness did a superb job in bringing the stereotypical horror genre characters forward while still keeping their personalities at a relatable level. Herb is the victim, the hero, the comedian, the a**hole. I feel bad for him. A destiny he had no part in choosing, a life he never anticipated living, and an ending I’m not soon going to forget.
